oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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