You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
