Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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