I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
