My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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