dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
