Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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