we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
