she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize