seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
