We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
