woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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