question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
