So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
