she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
he shaved USA in his pubs
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
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