found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
