You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
no. you can't hotbox the world.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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