how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
Just general bites
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.