Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow... http://tfl.nu/tod7
  Replies (74) Good night (1847) Bad night (12291)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition. http://tfl.nu/fwuo
  Replies (13) Good night (10047) Bad night (1181)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date. http://tfl.nu/r3cq
  Replies (17) Good night (851) Bad night (6627)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked. http://tfl.nu/x6u7
  Replies (6) Good night (4664) Bad night (967)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now http://tfl.nu/1wl1
  Replies (29) Good night (5385) Bad night (1646)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/y5mn
  Replies (7) Good night (4436) Bad night (1119)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it" http://tfl.nu/04ug
  Replies (4) Good night (5623) Bad night (1064)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public. http://tfl.nu/i8al
  Replies (10) Good night (1100) Bad night (1939)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night. http://tfl.nu/wvak
  Replies (9) Good night (4378) Bad night (836)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (204): Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus http://tfl.nu/ux11
  Replies (9) Good night (2847) Bad night (713)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex http://tfl.nu/ohy9
  Replies (13) Good night (2193) Bad night (741)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I feel strange, like something is off with my body

  (1-604): View more from British Columbia

  Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): I feel strange, like something is off with my body (1-604): Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days http://tfl.nu/yx6p
  Replies (3) Good night (1698) Bad night (591)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text http://tfl.nu/b0kp
  Replies (3) Good night (450) Bad night (611)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/bcib
  Replies (2) Good night (376) Bad night (772)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him. http://tfl.nu/x1lw
  Replies (2) Good night (662) Bad night (348)

Randomize