I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head