Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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