he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.