Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(408): View more from California

the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.

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(773): View more from Illinois

Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich

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(443): View more from Maryland

My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.

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25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Read it at the TFLN blog
(617): View more from Massachusetts

I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?

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(518): View more from New York

his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.

(1-978): View more from Massachusetts

Wait until you see the roof.

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(972): View more from Texas

So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.

(281): View more from Texas

You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.

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