Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
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