i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."