I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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