Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
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