Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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