so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
