so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
