Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
