Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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