If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
