That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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