she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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