Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
