My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I don't deserve a penis
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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