Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
