Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
