trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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