New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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