super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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