I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I think my moral compass just broke
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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