I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
