yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
