I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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