I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
