oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
