that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
