I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Im part way to drunk.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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