when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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