You can't special order awesome
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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