Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
