She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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