oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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