God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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