you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
