I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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