i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
be right there i have to get my cape
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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