It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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