its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
