Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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