I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Randomize
