At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
