so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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