what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
worst night to have a conscience
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
