I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
