What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
