Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize